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Con Friends


How many times has it happened to you that the people whom you called friends or the people who called themselves your friends have let you down big time?

This may not be a un-common and its in fact something we all have experienced at some point of time in our lives. However, there are certain categories of the so called friends that can be potentially cause severe damage and in some cases even derail someone’s life.

I have encountered some such “so called friends effect” myself but to my good fortune due to my life experiences and upbringing i was saved from a potentially life derailing experience.

The characteristics of such people who have nothing more than some vested interest in your life may be simple to understand if you have an eye for looking beyond the obvious. To start with they love to charm you or your spouse, your kids or your close friends, they seek to cut across and make a point that they are ‘liked’ by all, they tend to create a space in the minds of the people around you and hope that by doing that they have sent enough positive vibes into you. They may enter your life out of nowhere and shower you with praises and maybe even throw gifts and dinner invitations.

Unsuspecting as you are, in all probability you are likely to get carried away by the entire package these people have in store. They are sweet talkers and love it when people listen to them, they love attention and to their credit are well read and more knowledgeable than most of the average population.
So these are some of the behavioral aspects of the ‘con friends’……to put it in short if you are a married guy with a beautiful wife, these guys may be talking to you while you give undivided attention, they are actually thinking about how to get to your wife. So thats just an example in case. Not all of them would have similar intentions, some have lust in their minds some plain jealousy and some may be just sadists who would want to derail your life knowing you are on track.

There are few ways to tackle such people:

1. Listen to any negative comments that come from your near and dear ones, husbands especially should listen to any negative comment from their wives about the con friend. Women have a sense of things and they have a natural ability to read the eyes of the beholder. So please listen to any warnings given by your wives. Similarly there may be some negative comments from other near and dear ones like friends who also have had a brush with the con friend. Pay heed to any such negative comment and at least try to be neutral and observant and not just get carried away totally. Keep your eyes and senses open for any clue that can help you understand things better.

2. If for any reason you feel some uneasiness about these people, pay attention to their talk and behavior and try to follow the pattern. If you are observant you will see a trend and a more thoughtful analysis would reveal the true nature and in most cases your inner voice warnings would prove to be correct.

3. Be more clever try to understand for Christ’s sake as to why someone whom you knew for many years has suddenly become so very friendly? 99.99% of time be sure that he or she has a vested interest and it could potentially be damaging.

Stick to your goals and plans don’t let such sudden influences alter your set goals and plans, therein lies the solution.

more…to come

Now would it not be worthwhile if people can share their experiences and help each other understand as to how to counter such ‘con friends’.


October 26, 2007 Posted by | friends, friendship | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment